Sharon Osbourne Promises To Stick Her Foot Up Ozzy’s Ass if He Doesn’t Stay Sober

On today's episode of her very appropriately-titled show 'The Talk,' Ozzy Osbourne's wife Sharon commented publicly for the first time on her husband's recent admission that he had relapsed into drug and alcohol abuse.

After reports circulated that the pair were considering divorce, Ozzy shocked his fans last week by revealing that he fell off the wagon over a year and a half ago, apologizing to his friends and family, and stating that he was nearly two months sober. Today Sharon addressed the "distorted" media reports that have circulated since that time. Here is her statement in full:

"Everything that was printed in the tabloids has been distorted. There's always a little seed of truth to everything that gets reported, but then it gets very distorted. The only thing that's true was the Facebook posting that my husband did on his Facebook, where he said that he's been using alcohol and prescription drugs for the last year and a half, and that he's been an a---hole, and he's been in a very dark place. That's true, it's very true. Everybody knows he's been struggling with this his entire life. I never knew that he was using prescription drugs. I knew he was drinking occasionally, but I didn't realize, you know, to the extent. It's our business, we're dealing with it. We're not getting divorced, however am I happy? No. Am I upset? Yes, I am. I'm devastated right now. It's a disease that not only hurts the people who have the disease, but it hurts the family. It hurts people who love you. And, we're dealing with it. We've dealt with worse, and this too, shall pass. Otherwise, my husband will be taken to (the) hospital to get my foot removed from his ass."

We were of course already rooting hard for the Prince of Darkness to succeed in his efforts, and hopefully this show of support (not to mention the not-to-be-taken-lightly physical threat) will offer him further motivation to do so.