How Weird Are People Who Bite Their Bunnies Tail First?

It always seemed natural to me that the first part of a chocolate Easter bunny most people bite is the ears. After all, the bunny ears are the most prominent part of the Easter bunny. The majority of people do eat the ears first

A recent NCA survey found that 59% start with the ears. That's not everyone, though. 33% say they have no particular starting preference. (They're lying btw). 6% say they start with the feet, or worse yet, the bunny's tail.

I can't prove it but I know it's true that of the 33% of people who SAY they have no start preference when eating a chocolate easter bunny, many of them prefer to start with the tail. Sure, it is an ugly truth, but they say 'the truth will set you free'. They should just admit it and move on, or hurry to get on Doctor Phil's Show before it's gone forever.

At one point, Women's Lifestyle studied the issue and did a personality profile based on what part of a chocolate Easter bunny people like to eat first. Here's what they determined.

Ears First:

People who eat the ears first tend to be practical, organized, and traditional. They value security and are extremely loyal. Their greatest flaw is impatience. They are honest and kind to a fault, and everyone loves them. They may also be a little too fixated on the story of Vincent Van Gough, but who doesn't like fine art?

Tail First:

Tail eaters like to be different. It's not that they are overly creative. They like to be secretive and sneaky. They tend to be cautious and cunning. Tail eaters are big tippers, especially in strip clubs.

Bite or Snap Off Its Head:

These people are restless and independent. These people love the get the heavy lifting out of the way first. They have magnetic personalities and make friends easily. They may also have a lot of bad hair days and are acting out on subconscious desires to do away with the drama on their head.

Sniff it or Lick It First:

Run!

Sniffers have high standards. They are restrained because they don't want people to discover they are weirdos. Lickers don't care if people discover they are weirdos.

Smash It Into Pieces First:

Chocolate Easter bunny smashers always buy the extended warranty. They need it. They also love those mayhem auto insurance commercials. These people are unpredictable and not in a good way. Unpredictable, like punching a hole in the drywall unpredictable.

Paws First:

Paws eaters live with the constant disappointment of not realizing their life's ambition: to become a hand model. They must constantly be reassured that they are loved despite their stubby fingers. Some of them secretly fear that if they don't eat off their chocolate bunny's means of escape, it will somehow hop off, leaving them alone to stew over their callouses.