Summer is supposed to be a carefree time of sun and fun. But thanks to the insanely high pollen and all kinds of nature wackiness, we've been brought to our knees by out-of-control allergies. The sneezing, the need for tissues close at hand at all times and the red nose and watery eyes that are ever so appealing are getting in the way of our summer fun. So we decided to offer up some solutions to set ourselves free from these no-good allergens. You're welcome!
Stuff your nose with something you're not allergic to, like puppies!
Set fire to your neighbor's sinus-clogging ragweed garden.
Shave your cat. Now you've got an exotic hairless pet!
Wear a Groucho disguise to keep out pesky pollen. (You could also potentially score work as a Eugene Levy impersonator.)
Maybe experiment with gamma rays and see if that works. Hey, maybe you'll turn into The Hulk.
Relocate to a place far from pollen. Like an igloo. Or a lab thousands of miles under the sea.
Invest in a human-sized hamster wheel. This one is probably just a good idea in general, because look at how happy this guy is:
Stop breathing. It's overrated.