Kristen Bell + Dax Shepard Had a Baby Girl! Well, One of Them Did, Anyway.

First-time parents Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard welcomed their baby girl into the world today, March 28 — a baby they named Lincoln Bell Shepard. And hey, as celebrity baby names go, it could’ve been a lot worse.

Never ones to hem and haw or tear up over the “miracle of childbirth” (as people who’ve apparently never seen ‘Teen Mom’ call it), the couple hilariously shared the news via Twitter.

Lincoln Bell Shepard is here. She has mom’s beauty and dad’s obsession with breasts. Hooray!!!

— dax shepard (@daxshepard1) March 28, 2013

My new roomate poops her pants and doesn’t pay rent…basically @daxshepard1 pre-sobriety welcome baby Lincoln xo

— Kristen Bell(@IMKristenBell) March 28, 2013

 
We just hope the birthing process went well. Bell originally explained to Ellen DeGeneres, “I want a glass of whiskey, I want the epidural in my back and I want to get hit in the face with a baseball bat and wake me up when it’s over because I’ve seen the videos — and it looks terrifying.”

Kristen, 32, and long-time boyfriend Dax, 38, have been engaged since 2009 and chose to have their baby out of wedlock since their gay friends are not yet allowed to wed. Bell nobly says they will not get married until everyone has the same rights she and Shepard do.

We love them, and so we’re sure their kid will grow up just fine regardless. We only wish Dax’s father could be here to share in the joy.